by [a homeschool mom]
Sunday night we watched a home movie of our family made about five years ago. It was our summer vacation before my youngest started kindergarten. It was neat seeing the kids so small again.
At the end of the tape, we filmed the kid's first day back at school. They were so cute with their lunch boxes and new pencils.... Then it came time to walk out the door and I had the camera on Taylor (my youngest). I guess it finally hit her that she was going to be without me. My older two never shed a tear when they went to school but Taylor was different...
The look on her face was so painful for me to watch again. Her little head was down and her eyes were
welling up. Her whole countenance fell. She said very quietly, "I don't
want to go". I asked her, "Don't you want to use your new crayons and scissors?" She just kept her head down and shook it "no".
I remember those first two weeks of school, I would go to the store alone and watch all the mothers with small children. They would be so impatient with them and I wanted to tell them, "Stop! You don't have much time left with them!" I longed to have my little buddy with me again.
After about two weeks, I couldn't do it anymore so I started going
to school with her. It took until she finished first grade for the Lord to
finally convict my heart to homeschool.
Now I see that wicked selfishness and it's so painful to watch what it did to her. I believed the great deceiver. I believed
that I wasn't good enough to educate my children. I'm so thankful that
God finally got a hold of me and changed me. I'm so thankful that I've
these last three and a half years to undo what my sin caused. I wish I
could shout it from the roof tops to all the mothers who think "I
just can't do that!" You can do it; you must do
it! God will show you how, and He will walk you through it, one
step at a time.
I got the star quilt hoop from:
...and the bear on the pencil from:
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